I am merely a damaged bag going around the baggage claim with the rest of the contents of the cargo; an emotionally damaged man who lives in an emotionally damaged world.
End Rant.
My name is Laron Lemon. I stumbled upon a pen and a pad of paper which sparked a curiosity for writing about any topics that cross my path. I am a writer pursuing his craft who would like any constructive criticism you would like to give, and would enjoy reading the writing you have created.
Monday, June 30
Wednesday, June 25
Another Day, Another Chapter
Today is another day were I am stuck between apathy and carelessness. Over the last month I have undergone a dramatic personal change. The people who I considered to be close friends I am less inclined to see every day. Social interaction is an absolute necessity of our species. However, throughout the last month I have preferred the company of solitude over people.
A separation caused by my own selfish action. Survival is the most prominent motivation for action, and so I cannot help but wonder if my decision to severe my connection to those people is due to instinct. Foresight is not a gift, nor an inherent ability. I view this to be a thought process of our perception of reality created by the analysis of our personal observation(s) of the environment we are involved with. The analysis of our observations is what allows us to determine what are the best actions to take in the present to cause positive consequences to occur in our future; a skill most people either do not have, or do not know how to use.
The people I have spent my time with over the last six months are friendly, humorous, and carefree; all attributes I enjoy. However, the last is the one which concerns me most. "Carefree" and "Apathy" have a close relation, and the line that separates the two is easily blurred. Taoism taught me to live a simple life, and Buddhism taught me to live in the present. However, I do not let myself be blinded by the thoughts of one person or group. I study the past to learn how the present was developed, and I focus on the present to help me prepare to create my own future.
What I once thought to be a negative facet of my personality-a contradiction of one quality to another-is actually my greatest strength. An insatiable desire to observe, analyze, interpret, and understand drives me away from those individuals who have no ambition for their own future. I have lived a life of experience thus far. The people I have had the joy to meet have educated and edified me so thoroughly the imprint they have left will forever be burned into my consciousness.
Love fills my proverbial heart for all that I have known.
Although invaluable experiences have been gained through these relationships, the time has arrived for my departure. This is not a literal increase in the physical distance between separate entities. A figurative transformation has evolved my consciousness to a state of awareness where I no longer desire the constant inebriation of the mind, (a distraction from the monotony of the individuals chosen/provided reality), and the lackadaisical attitude I have maintained up to this time in my life, (apathy, procrastination, depression).
The employment I obtained because of a dear friend was, and is definitely one of the factors that contributes most of all to this unexpected change to my learned behaviors. Both the employees and attorneys who work here have lifestyles which contrast my own and others like me. Research had to be done. I discovered we were the minority, and we were condescended by the majority for appropriate reasons.
Conclusions to such endeavors do not always yield results which make us happy. I am no exception. Life is what you make of it, and I have not made an attempt to achieve the life I want to live. From this day forward the only actions to take are those that will benefit me the most. The self must be actualized.
As I leave those I have known behind my heart is heavy from the sadness caused by my loss. No insults will be spoken; no disrespectful or offensive statements will be uttered about those I now speak of. Instead, love is, and always will be felt when they are remembered. In this time of melancholy a thought causes a spark inside my subconscious that invigorates my passion to continue my work; people are drawn to other people with similar qualities, characteristics, attitudes, and learned behaviors. Optimism is nothing without action, and so it begins.
A separation caused by my own selfish action. Survival is the most prominent motivation for action, and so I cannot help but wonder if my decision to severe my connection to those people is due to instinct. Foresight is not a gift, nor an inherent ability. I view this to be a thought process of our perception of reality created by the analysis of our personal observation(s) of the environment we are involved with. The analysis of our observations is what allows us to determine what are the best actions to take in the present to cause positive consequences to occur in our future; a skill most people either do not have, or do not know how to use.
The people I have spent my time with over the last six months are friendly, humorous, and carefree; all attributes I enjoy. However, the last is the one which concerns me most. "Carefree" and "Apathy" have a close relation, and the line that separates the two is easily blurred. Taoism taught me to live a simple life, and Buddhism taught me to live in the present. However, I do not let myself be blinded by the thoughts of one person or group. I study the past to learn how the present was developed, and I focus on the present to help me prepare to create my own future.
What I once thought to be a negative facet of my personality-a contradiction of one quality to another-is actually my greatest strength. An insatiable desire to observe, analyze, interpret, and understand drives me away from those individuals who have no ambition for their own future. I have lived a life of experience thus far. The people I have had the joy to meet have educated and edified me so thoroughly the imprint they have left will forever be burned into my consciousness.
Love fills my proverbial heart for all that I have known.
Although invaluable experiences have been gained through these relationships, the time has arrived for my departure. This is not a literal increase in the physical distance between separate entities. A figurative transformation has evolved my consciousness to a state of awareness where I no longer desire the constant inebriation of the mind, (a distraction from the monotony of the individuals chosen/provided reality), and the lackadaisical attitude I have maintained up to this time in my life, (apathy, procrastination, depression).
The employment I obtained because of a dear friend was, and is definitely one of the factors that contributes most of all to this unexpected change to my learned behaviors. Both the employees and attorneys who work here have lifestyles which contrast my own and others like me. Research had to be done. I discovered we were the minority, and we were condescended by the majority for appropriate reasons.
Conclusions to such endeavors do not always yield results which make us happy. I am no exception. Life is what you make of it, and I have not made an attempt to achieve the life I want to live. From this day forward the only actions to take are those that will benefit me the most. The self must be actualized.
As I leave those I have known behind my heart is heavy from the sadness caused by my loss. No insults will be spoken; no disrespectful or offensive statements will be uttered about those I now speak of. Instead, love is, and always will be felt when they are remembered. In this time of melancholy a thought causes a spark inside my subconscious that invigorates my passion to continue my work; people are drawn to other people with similar qualities, characteristics, attitudes, and learned behaviors. Optimism is nothing without action, and so it begins.
Friday, June 6
A Game of Cards
A Game of Cards
Fuck everyone else
The time has come to focus on my "Self"
Get out life’s deck and see what was dealt
Look at this girl trying to boost her flat ass with those
heels
Trying hard to find a man who can give her money and thrills
Another corrupted woman with no skills
One look into those beautiful eyes and you will fall for her
disguise
A wise man will never agree to such a compromise
Acquaintances pretend to be a friend to see what valuable
cards from your hand you will lend
Acquiesce the request if you want to fold your hand and
become distressed
Deuces are wild is not my style
An all natural royal flush is what causes me to smile
Yet, we all know the chances our hand will show a pure court is
statistically low
Do not be discouraged by this fact
It does not matter where in the 52 you are at
You exist, and there is nothing more incredible than that
Pick up the cards to play life’s game
Stop the pursuit of fame and the worries of pain
Work hard and wait patiently for the flop to see what you can
create from what you caught
Decide your hand’s value and throw the amount into the pot
I analyze my opponent while I gamble my money and time
There is no risk without reward and this is why I put my
life on the line
I toil at the final table to overcome the collusion of the dealer and the house with a
strategy of my own design
Let the chips fall and see where I stand
I am all in this game no matter the hand
The cyclical result will not be the same for this man
Winners take all
Everyone else remembers the call
Hard work combined with luck is the opportunity that will
turn the high card
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