Drops in the Ocean

A year of sobriety is almost behind me, leaving my mind crystal clear

My third eye is open to repressed thoughts and emotion

A life of experiencing the fruits of Eden was transformed into a life of learning how to create purpose and lasting meaning

I feel free, that more than ever I am expressing an authentic me

And still there are moments when a room full of people sharing stories and laughter leave me silently wrapped in solitude by a blanket of loneliness.

Am I disassociated from them? Or do the drinks in their hands, the drugs in their veins, disassociate them from me?

The decision to test the waters of addiction in search of connection is not as easy as flipping a coin or rolling twelve thirteen-sided die

Life is a mysterious experience with infinite abstract sides

All I can do is choose, having faith in the end I will not lose

I hope the path I take is one which will lead to self-love, self-awareness, and self-actualization

Drops in the ocean- full of memories and emotion - fall from my enlightened eyes, sending waves across the once calm waters

The realization of the scope of my recovery sets in

I sit on the edge of the water dipping my feet under the surface of an ocean full of unknowns

What will I find underneath the beautiful, rippling, opaque, fear-invoking glass?

The Old Man 2.0

It's raining, it's pouring
The old man wants to be exploring
Inside his head
Is an adventurous thread
And he is stuck adulting!

The Sharp End

Looking at the unknown future before my eyes chokes my breath, freezing the thoughts in my mind. A single 9.8 mm rope connects me to the person who is supposed to save my life. Can I trust her with this precious gift? The only way to discover the answer is to have faith, and let go of all reservations.

One foot after the other leaves the ground. The safety, the security, the comfort, of the stable terrain I evolved to walk upon transforms quickly into the harbinger of my doom. As I lean back to search for my next move the exposure to the wind, and to the subtle, yet unbelievably powerful force of gravity reminds me of the risk I have taken. Can I trust her with this precious gift? The only way to discover the answer is to have faith, and let go of all reservations.

My muscles are fatigued, and my concentration loses focus on the present task at hand. I breathe deeply, trying feebly to regain my composure. Beads of sweat accumulate in the ends of all of my pores; my hands are clammy; my brow is furled; my veins are bulging. Can I trust her with this precious gift? The only way to discover the answer is to have faith, and let go of all reservations.

The sharp end has me in its fatal gaze- I let go. A death defying scream bursts from my lips, emanating from the core of my being. A rush of light and energy temporarily blind me. I am not dead. She caught me.

This is dedicated to the people whom you can trust with your life. The bonds we develop through the shared experiences that challenge, enlighten, terrify, and humor us- the ropes that connect our lives- are built on faith, vulnerability, compassion. loyalty, support, time, mutual respect, and much, much more. These relationships help us believe in the reality of our incredible power, and teach us how we can overcome our fears. Creating shared meaning and purpose within these relationships teaches all of us how to love our self, so we can learn to love other people. 

with Love, 

Laron R. Lemon

Acceptance

The backyard was bustling and buzzing with people who were vaguely familiar

The backyard was bustling and buzzing with people who were explicitly foreign

From the opposite side of the yard I stared intently at the crowd

From the opposite side of the yard I stared distractedly at the huddled mass

Overhead strong winds blew dark and heavy clouds, blocking the sun

Overhead strong winds blew dark and heavy clouds, concealing who had come

Overhead strong winds blew dark and heavy clouds, casting a shadow across everyone

The cold touch of solitude froze my heart

The cold touch of solitude solidified my mind

Standing a few meters to my right was my dearest sibling

Standing a few meters to my left was my worthless self

A flash of light burned bright

A flash of light cleared the darkness in my sight

A flash of light left her next to my dearest sibling on my right

Soft, tender, silly, and loving words were spoken

It was then I knew, I was part of a family again

Past and Present

The weight of the world caused her to ruminate

Orange, pink, and yellow fires burned secretly in the sky

A tumultuous and terrible entropy scorched her mind’s eye

Rubber skidded slowly to a halt in a hidden dirt parking lot

She left the comfort and security of steel and plastic to find herself caught in a natural world where she felt vulnerable, cold, and sick

Walking begrudgingly upon the solid, soft, and wet earth gave birth to self-damning, self-degrading, self-deprecating thoughts belittling and disparaging her self-worth

The grade went up and down, and up again, while she was consumed by the depressive thought she had lived a life of sin

She struggled along the trail, sweat dripping from her brow, the heat rising from her internal hell

Trudging ever slower up the steepness of the seemingly insurmountable hill, she wondered, can I overcome this battle of will?

The rosy light of the setting sun ripped her from the darkness overtaking her soul’s sight

A small voice inside her heart prompted her to turn to face the burning sky

An overwhelming energy filled the vision of her mind’s eye

She dropped her melancholy where she stood, and ran swiftly toward the mountain’s hood

Aches and pains latched upon her sides as her legs took longer and faster strides

Each inhalation strengthened the notion every past decision was simply a life lesson

Each exhalation strengthened the self-affirmation every single choice she had made developed her incredible and unique voice

Regret and contempt for what she was could not withstand the power of what she knew she is at the present moment

The summit relieved her of the last of her grief by providing a view that filled her with awe and disbelief

Spanning across the valley at her feet were millions of people grappling with their own moments of defeat 

Thoughts of solitude and loneliness dissipated instantly upon the realization she was experiencing the sorrows and anxieties of our shared human condition

A tranquil, soothing, and powerful wind blew a soft kiss to her lips

Gratitude filled her heart for the people she loves, and their friendships

Memories surfaced of who she had been over all of these years

Colors from the sun setting on yesterday's horizon filled her eyes with tears

Stardust

You are the one I want to see
You are the one I want to please
You are the one who truly understands me

Shooting star streaking across the night sky
Light glowing from a burning piece of space dust illuminates the mind's eye
We continue to sleep to the night mother's lullaby

You are the one I want to see
You are the one I want to please
You are the one who truly understands me

Meteoroids falling into the atmosphere
A brief trail of light making my dreams crystal clear
Meteorites fallen to the ground
In you a piece of the past is found

You are the one I want to see
You are the one I want to please
You are the one who truly understands me

Stardust fallen from the heavens
Grant me the wisdom learned from your life's lessons
In you I see a future bold and bright
Dreams of what you have seen fill me with delight

You are the one I want to see
You are the one I want to please
You are the one who truly understands me

2017

2017 is finally here
Look at the new horizon, and let go of your FEAR
This is OUR year

WE are many, and they are few
This is why it is clear to me what OUR generation must do

WE must bear the torch of work and discipline
So that WE can improve this world WE live in

There are pivotal points throughout history that write what OUR future will be
WE can wait idly by while the past writes OUR misery
I suggest WE stand up to the call to be OUR best

Look at yourSELF in the mirror
See the force for POSITIVE change standing there
Prepare yourSELF for the challenges WE will face this year

OUR world is on fire
Evil men and women stand at the pyre

Will WE let them turn OUR kingdom to ash?
Or will WE stand up against the injustices of OUR past?

OUR species has the potential to be extraordinary
First we must address the prejudices developed throughout OUR story

The divisiveness of race, religion, and politics caused us to forget WE are inherently the same
WE are ONE people trying to play the same game
The purpose of life until now has been to gain fortune and fame

I think OUR instincts for survival cause US to desire compassion, diversity, and inclusion over  the oppression of OUR people through the classification of groups with terms designed for the purpose of division and separation

Now is OUR time to rise to the challenges OUR people face
This call to action goes out to everyone on OUR planet, not just these American states

WE must stand up for OUR right to chase OUR dreams and passions
WE must fight the desire to accept defeat by living in the shadows cast by previous generations

YOU are STARDUST fallen from the heavens
Never forget this LIFE lesson

WE are children of the stars
Let YOUR light shine through these prison bars

WE do not have to live OUR parent's sorrow
WE can create a better world for TOMORROW