Harumphophont

Once upon a time there was a Harumphophont. It was short and round with a tuft of hair on top of its head. The yellow tinted skin was speckled with brown spots and when it walked it waddled instead. Every step it took it would bellow deep, “Harumph. Harumph. Harumph,” In a disturbingly negative tone. One day the mighty Harumphophont stumbled upon a Neanderthal playing in the water at the watering hole. She said, “Harumph”.

The Neanderthal was a sensitive one and noticed her presence in his mind’s eye. “What could cause this animal so much pain and anguish.” He thought to himself. The Harumphophont waddled to a stump and sat down. This was the stump it sat on each of the five days it would come to the watering hole.

“What is the matter?” asked the Neanderthal

“Harumph!” It pointed to the watering hole.

“I am sorry I was just having a bit of fun. I will try not to do that anymore.”

“Harumph!” It pointed to his dog that trying to instigate play with some friendly barks and yips

“I am sorry I will try to keep my pup under control.”

“Harumph!” It pointed to the wind as it blew a cold gust its way.

“I am sorry the wind is too cold for you, here is a blanket.”

“Harumph!” It pointed again. Far from where they stood, in the way of nothing was his pack and the supplies necessary for his canine companion. The Neanderthal could take no more.

“I will not move that for you. It is not an inconvenience to anyone or anything. It is simply there. Why would it bother you?”

“Harumph!”

The Neanderthal could not understand how anything could become so hateful, callous, spiteful, and overall negative. He wanted to help this creature recover from whatever caused such wounds, but he knew it was a fruitless endeavor so he walked away.